Thursday, December 27, 2007

She should have been the one

Could she be the one ? Every thing seems so perfect about her. Have I found the girl I was looking for all this time ?

- Wake up Al
ice !

Huh ! As my boss pulls me out of my delightful day dream I realize that I completely forgot to do what he asked me. How could I focus anyways ? With the night I just had... I still can feel her skin on mine. I want more of her, tonight, I will. What time is it? 2h30 pm... God ! This day will never end.

- What the hell's wrong with you today ?

What's wrong with me ? I'm stuck in this shit hole while an angel's waiting for me in heaven, so you can go fuck yourself for all I care, boss ! Alright, relax... Take a deep breath... You have to work on that temper of yours, you have no reasons not to be happy today. Even though you are, you wouldn't want her to think that you are an impulsive and edgy bitch now would you Alice ? Let's be polite and say something nice, don't forget to smile :

- Sorry boss, I have things on my mind right now. Don't worry, I'm on it.

- Come on now, we don't have all day, this should have been done this morning.

4h00. Free at last. A quick jump at my place to shower and change. I must have smelled like sweat and sex all day.

As I walked up the stairs to her apartment I found myself feeling nervous. Is my hair ok ? Have I to much perfume ? I should not have put on this shirt, it makes me look to skinny ! Damn I forgot to put my contacts on, she'll think I'm ugly with my glasses ! The door opens, there she stands, magnificently. I'm inches away from the kiss I wanted to have all day.

I've been at her place for 2 hours now, we are still at the table. Our plates are empty, the bottle of wine to, she opens another one. We've talked for hours, about the world, about love, hate, sex, crimes, art, politics... We are exactly on the same wavelength. I haven't connected with anybody like this in years :

- Will you excuse me Alice, I'll be right back.

- Alright, be quick !

She smiles as the bathroom door closes behind her. This girl is amazing.

She comes back, walks behind me and gives me a kiss on the back of the neck. Chills run down my spine. Can life always be like this ? She sits back on her chair. She's is so gorgeous.

But suddenly I noticed something. What was that you just did with your mouth ? What's wrong with her eyes ? You haven't... There it is again ! This tic. You didn't had that before. And then she officially blew her cover, although very subtly, she inhaled in this way... The signature of a coke head that just had a line.

No. No... please tell me I'm wrong ! Please tell me that this didn't happened !

- What's wrong Alice ?

I'm speechless.

- Alice ?

- You are high on coke aren't you ?

I caught her by surprise. She finally admits it. But, of course, she's not an addict. Yeah right ! I don't know any casual users that just goes for a quick sniff in the middle of a conversation.

- Does it bother you this much ?

- I'm a coke addict that have been clean for 2 years... I can't be with a user... This makes me have to choose between you or me. It's going to be me, I'm sorry, I could of loved you. I have to go.

Tears are running down my cheeks as I got back to my place.

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